A little note

Sometimes evenings come when you keep thinking about songs and you keep painting pictures in your mind with melody and rhyme and words, one after another. Memories come then. On such an evening, like today, I mulled through the song-lists in YouTube, and I went into a reminiscent mode once again.

There are these sweet and sour memories around songs, however short and insignificant they may be.
And I came once again across "Na Jaane Kyun", an evergreen song one shall cherish forever, in the movie CHHOTI SI BAAT.

It's a question, about something like those half-hearted silent nothings you mutter to yourself ending with a question-mark each time, once again.

If I was asked why 'once' 'again', I still don't know. I mean, I might come out with a signing off sentence, but I know that I am still ignorant about 'once', just as I'm about 'again'. Still it makes sense if I plead ignorance putting 'once' and 'again' together, despite me being aware that it's not an answer. And I am wary now.

I've been living all alone since a long time. There used to be more signs of life around me then, and nothing ever suggested that a time like this might come. It helps you, keeps you motivated to look towards tomorrow with something in mind. I am not pondering over right or wrong, it's just looking back over the 'presents' and the 'absents'.

Why do I feel like putting up a response then? It just adds to a list of questions, and that doesn't do people like me any good - people who seem to be all over the place all the time and it is hard not to notice the jamboree and the elaborate vacuum that actually sounds so empty.

But that always makes a sound for you. It's a sound alright. It's the part of the real life. Tonight that sound tells me that I've taken a long time to accept a fact, and I have erred. All this while, I have been searching for an answer without understanding the question.

I realise that with time the question has changed into a fact of life somewhere out there, and I didn't notice when. It's not about answers as to why. The fact is - there won't be any answer ever for me. It is thus best to keep them where they are and move on.

As I have written -- once again.
Dr.Anirban Chaudhuri,
Consultant Physician,
Mumbai, India.
Blog: ANIRBANSPEAK
http://anirbanspeak.blogspot.com
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"Whatever I did, I did it my way.."